Two things happened today that spawned this post. First, while I was working this morning they played Jumpin' Jack Flash by the Rolling Stones. Even Whoopi had a hard time with that song because it sure sounds like he's saying: "I was raised by a toothless lesbian." But what he's really saying isn't much better: " I was raised by a toothless bearded hag."

The second incident involved England Dan and John Ford Coley's song I'd Really Love To See You Tonight. Years ago one of my sisters told me she always thought they were saying: "I'm not talkin' 'bout the linen." I was confused because that's what I thought they were saying, too. Turns out it's actually: "I'm not talkin' 'bout movin' in." Now though, I can't listen to that song without singing the misheard lyrics...it's just so much better!

But those aren't the only songs with misheard lyrics. In fact, there's an entire website dedicated to misheard lyrics! Kissthisguy.com calls itself the "Archive of misheard lyrics." You can choose a song, enter what you heard and tell the story of how you found out you were totally off-base. Some of the stories are pretty good, some of the misheard lyrics are even better! This site finally allows you to see just how many other people heard the same thing you did. It's great!

Some of the less comprehensible lyrics over the years have come from the likes of Def Leppard and Duran Duran. Although, in Duran Duran's case he really was saying: "Shake up the picture, the lizard mixture with your dance on the eventide." Who hasn't heard some crazy lyric to AC/DC's Dirty Deeds that wasn't: "Dirty deeds and they're done dirt cheap?"

Some of the well known "alternate" lyrics are for Blinded By The Light by Manfred Mann. It sounds like he's saying: "Blinded by the light, wrapped up like a douche; another rumor in the night." Turns out that's not it: "Blinded by the light, revved up like a deuce; another runner in the night." Of course, either way it doesn't make much sense. Another great one that I found on Kissthisguy is for J. Geils Band's Centerfold: "My anus is the center hole." Now that I've stopped LMBO...it's acutally: "My angel is the centerfold." How about Secret Agent Man by Johnny Rivers? How many of you thought he was saying: "Secret Asian man?"

So, if you want a good laugh, go check out the site. If you have any good ones you'd like to share, then post them here; I'd love to read them!