I really hate it when people greet me by saying, "how are you?" I hate it because it insinuates that they actually give a crap, when we all know full well they don't.

Most people don't really want an honest answer to that question. It's simply a way of greeting another person; a stupid way, to be sure; but it's become so ingrained in the fabric of society that it will probably never end. It's a way of pretending to care, seeming to care, when in fact you don't.

But it's also a question...questions generally require answers. So then, after being asked this silly question by some stranger, I am expected to give the stock answer of, "Fine, thanks, how are you?" Okay, great, but what if I'm not fine? What if my life is a complete disaster and I'm nearly suicidal, then what?

I will be the first to admit that I'm not the cheeriest person around. In fact, there are days when I can be downright depressing (and mean, there are days when I'm super mean, and it's just best to stear clear). So when a person asks me how I'm doing when I'm not, in fact, at all fine, then I'm even more bugged by the question, because now I have to lie. 'Cause, let's face it, nobody really wants to hear how crappy your life is.

During a very bad time in my life someone asked me how I was doing and, apparently, the look on my face told the story, because he answered for me, "shitty, but thanks for asking?" And since that day, when I'm in a situation where that tone of language won't cost me a job, if I'm not fine, I will answer just that way.

So next time you see me, if I'm not smiling or laughing, or if I am clearly not fine, please don't bother asking me how I am, because the only stock answer I'll give you now is, "shitty, but thanks for asking."