First it was horse in your lasagne, then horse in your meatballs, and organic eggs that aren't organic. Turns out that commercially produced milk, bread, and soy are actually bad for you, but now your Pepsi tastes like aborted fetus...oh, and did I mention that your horsey lasagne has ties to Cypriot arms traffickers?

 

 

Um...what?! Ha ha ha, this is a joke, right? RIGHT?

 

Unfortunately, no.