I have some sort of relationship with someone who means a great deal to me. Have been working on this relationship for over 3 years now, and I say "some sort" because our "relationship" is...complicated. No, not weird, just complicated. It's been an uphill battle at best, but more often a war of attrition; with him trying to grind me down so I'll give up and me trying to grind him down so he'll give in. It's been rough enough that I've vacillated between pushing on and quitting. I usually feel like giving up when I'm sick or depressed, with the most recent give-up event starting on January 1st.

 

It had gotten to a point where I had more or less decided I'd had enough and to Hell with him, when two things happened in rather quick succession...two things got "liked" on Facebook that seemed to speak directly to me. The first was, "The reason most people give up is because they tend to look at how far they still have to go, instead of how far they have come."

Hmm, okay. I admit I have come quite far and it seems a bit silly to give up now.

 

The second was this: "If you love someone, let them go...because nothing says I love you like giving up on a person."

*Sigh* There was a time, on Facebook, when everyone and their dog was posting crap about how if a person doesn't give you their every-waking-minute of attention then you should cut them out of your life because they're obviously losers and you just don't need that. I hate that attitude because it presupposes that if a person has some sort of life outside of your relationship then they're not worth your time. And that's patently ridiculous. Now, if they never give you any time, that's different...but simply having a life is no excuse to blow someone off.

 

Many years ago I formulated a motto that I have tried to live by ever since: "Never give up; never give in; only change tactics." These two illustrations reminded me of that, and I realized that I had fallen into the unholy trap of expecting people to work on my timetable. I'm an impatient person, I always have been. But if I have learned nothing else from this "relationship" I have learned to be patient with others.

 

And that translates into life in general. All too often we give up our dreams or give in to pressure because it's usually easier to just quit fighting. But cutting and running on a friendship that you value is stupid. Circumstances change, I won't always be depressed (although it seems I'm destined to remain ill indefinitely), and Regret is not a companion I enjoy the company of.

 

Something else I learned (the hard way) years ago is that one should never make big decisions when in the throws of extreme emotion...trust me, it never turns out well. So for now, at least, I'll keep shooting up the hill, and maybe, at some point, we'll be standing on level ground.