Here's the scenario: a couple, who have been members of Find A Grave two years longer than me, have deliberately created multiple duplicate memorials because they didn't add their extended family before I did. I have had issues with this couple and their family member (who has only been a member for a quarter as long as me) ever since this other family member joined. These people are the reason I have stopped generously transferring memorials and have resorted to the FAG transfer guidelines.

 

Why does this situation bother me so much? Why do I now just stick to transfer policy? Because I don't like their attitude. As I stated, the couple have been members for twice as long as me, at this point. That gave them two full years to have created those memorials, and they state that they live in the area of the cemetery, and yet, it took me entering those names for them to apparently become interested.

 

I used to be very nice about transferring memorials; I didn't care whether you were family or not, as long as they weren't my family as well. But the aggressive attitude of the family member has caused me to become annoyed to the point of denying others (who have been a good deal less offensive).

 

It's not just their attitude, though. I've come across others who are just as aggressive, and frankly, I don't get it. These people either don't understand the concept behind Find A Grave, or they have something to hide. They act like their privacy has been violated, while apparently forgetting that anyone can walk through almost any cemetery, see the headstone and do their own research if they so choose! (I say "almost any" because I do know of at least one cemetery that is "closed.") The paranoia these people exhibit is bizarre, especially considering the deceased we're talking about died, in some cases, close to 100 years ago!

 

Maybe it's concern over their family name? Well, do I care about the reputation of my ancestors? For the most part, no. People are human and those who went before are no less prone to common human failings than anyone alive today. Would I be offended if I found out one of my ancestors had a bad reputation? Well, let's see, I know of at least one who did, and I don't think any less of her. In fact, it's somewhat comforting to know that, just as I have failings, so too did my ancestors.

 

I believe that everyone, regardless of who they are or what they did, deserves to be remembered, and I am no respecter of persons when it comes to creating memorials. I have added memorials for murderers, and where possible, I've  added memorials for their victims.

 

And it's for all of these reasons that I find this family to be so colossally offensive in their attitude. The only reason I can even think of to explain it is a disease that a presenter at this years RootsTech convention identified; My-Tree-Itis. My-Tree-Itis is the irrational obsessive hording of genealogy, and it manifests in the refusal of sufferers to share the information they have with anyone else. We are all related, and we should all be helping each other. But people like these...they will expect others to help them, but will be stingy with the aid they give.