I started this blog last year as a way to do some venting, and also, in an effort to get some people critically thinking about their lack of critical thinking. But I've managed to fail in both regards...and I've failed, because I lost sight of what it was I was trying to do, because I got this crazy notion that I needed to be a little less controversial...ha ha, yeeeeeeeeeah.

Part of the problem is that I've had this nutty fear that something I say is going to come back to haunt me. Well, the whole point of this blog was to let the chips fall where they may. Unfortunately, there are forces in my life that seem bent on driving me insane because they discourage me from saying what I really feel in the misguided belief that I'll hurt someone's feelings.

Well, that kind of thinking has got to stop. I can't control how others interpret my thoughts, but I can go crazy trying to prevent others from being offended by them. I'm not entirely sure where this new-found concern for the feelings of others has come from, but I think it needs to return from whence it came, because I've had enough stress worrying about upsetting others; and frankly, that stress has me bent over a barrel; a position that I don't care to be in.

Therefore, I resolve to recommence my posting here with renewed vigor, and if I happen to say something that offends you, then so be it. Very few of you bother to comment here, anyway, in which case I won't even know who's gotten their feelers hurt and who hasn't. Which suits me fine, by the way; because I'm pretty sure that I don't care about you any more than you care about me.

The one concession I am willing to make is that I won't use names.

I woke up this morning with what may well be the most annoying song ever, stuck in my head. It's Double Dutch, by Malcolm McLaren (of Sex Pistols fame). I have heard it several times on Absolute 80's Radio and it's never affected me quite like it is this morning. Not sure why today should be such a problem, but it certainly has presented that way.

Seriously, I've tried all morning to get it out of my head, and I may succeed for short periods of time, but then...

If you've never heard the song, I'm posting it below...so that you, too, might experience the torment that is this stupidly annoying conglomeration of notes and words. Listen, if you dare....(BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA)

I am now personally aware of three songs that bare my name. The earliest and best known is by Dolly Parton (covered by everyone and their dog), the second is by Ray LaMontagne (covered by Zac Brown), and the third, is by Bob Dylan (hopefully to be covered by no-one).

*sigh* One might think I'd be flattered that there are songs with my name in them...but one would be wrong. Maybe it would help if at least one of them didn't suck. I mean seriously, the Dolly Parton song is about a man-stealer, Ray LaMontagne's is about a drug addict who basically gives up the girl for the drugs, and the Bob Dylan...well, I've never liked Dylan so I didn't manage to make it even halfway through the song.

But even if the songs didn't blow lyrically (or vocally, in the case of Dylan) wouldn't it be cool to have a song with your name in the title? Well, maybe. But part of what made me detest the Parton song is the fact that, as soon as people find out what my name is, they always want to sing it at me. And they think they're the only ones who have ever done that.

"Ha ha ha! Oh gosh that's funny! That's really funny! Do you write your own material? Do you? Because that is so fresh...You know, I've, I've never heard anyone make that joke before. Hmm. You're the first. I've never [had] anyone [sing that song to me] before...you're so funny!"

Another part of the problem is that I've never liked my name. For some reason I've never felt comfortable speaking it, like it doesn't fit me or something. I had a Zuni tell me that my name sounds powerful! Really? It's a diminutive form of a name that means "He will enlarge," how is that powerful? (Although, I will admit that the meaning does kinda fit, for obvious reasons...)

I don't know what it would take for me to be comfortable with my name...but I'm pretty sure that singing stupid songs at me isn't going to help.

That is the question that was raised today at work. My co-worker received a Facebook friend request from our boss, and she's the only one who did...which kinda has her freaking out a little bit. But the question this scenario raised is, if your boss sends you a friend request on any form of social media, should you accept it?

I've had all day to think about it, and I've come to the conclusion that the answer is no. I took a poll on Facebook to see what my friends and family think and the consensus thus far is that, unless you have a friendly relationship outside of work, you probably shouldn't accept the request because it could cause, at the very least, awkwardness, and in the worst case, you could get fired.

But why would you get fired? Well, let's think about that for a minute...let's say you have a really bad day at work, and it was your boss's fault. You post a status update saying how you really feel, and your boss reads it. I don't know too many boss's who are not going to take that in a bad way. Or maybe you say something bad about the company you work for. Again, not too many boss's are going to be okay with that. I don't want to get fired simply because my boss is having a bad day or because the company I work for is run by an outcast monkey. So, to be sure, I would never send my boss a friend request on any form of social media. I have a right to vent, and frankly, so does my boss. I wouldn't want to remove that option from either of us.

But what should you do if your boss sends the request? That's complicated, because if you accept, then the best you can do is to set the privacy on ranting posts to exclude your boss...okay, but that's complicated, time-consuming, and you'd have to go back and change the settings on everything that's been said or shared up to that point...that's a lot of work.

Your next, and best option, is simply to refuse the request and tell them that you prefer to maintain the separation of business and non-business. Of course, if your boss is a jerk, then this could get you in deep, too...but I would hope, for everyone's sake, that your boss is smart enough to realize that the door swings both ways. You can fire me, but you can't stop me from telling other people why.

Best case scenario? You and your boss agree to pretend you don't exist outside of work.

Today is Groundhog Day in the US. I have never been a fan of Groundhog Day because I think it's no more sane to use a rodent for weather prognostication than it is for humans to try and predict the weather. Sure, animals have better instincts than humans (far better in most cases) but to suggest that on one day of the year a large rodent will be able to tell you when spring will arrive is just asinine.

I'm clearly not the only one who feels this way, as Adult Swim (the late night version of Cartoon Network) has put up a guide to understanding the Groundhog.

At this time last Sunday, I was in tears, so stressed out about all the things that have been going on in my life (my job, my car), but this Sunday I am happy to report that I am so chill I am virtually comatose! But despite my new lack of stress there are still some things that concern me, and the biggest one is persecuting others.

Certain events of the last week have reaffirmed the dangers inherent in persecuting others. When we take it upon ourselves to act as judge, jury, and executioner we leave ourselves open to receiving the same treatment. Never forget that there is always someone at least as well, if not better qualified than you, to take your place, and when you have the attitude and/or personality of a poopy diaper, you open the door to all sorts of payback.

Belittling, stereotyping, and undermining others will never get you where you think it will, and every time you do it you move closer to becoming what you think they are. Clean up your own yard before you criticize the yard of your neighbor, and just because you don't care for the way someone else dresses, that doesn't give you leave to criticize that, either.

Be aware; people do watch you and they do take note of what you say and do...just as much as you do it to them.

Well, I think this week has finally caught up to me, here I sit, listening to 70's love songs with tears in my eyes...But then I look at my most recent blog posts and realize that "this week" has actually been going on for more than a week! No wonder I'm headed for a straight jacket and padded cell.

You can read my previous three posts to see how my week and a half started out...but let me update from Wednesday...

Wednesday morning went okay, but on the way to work that day I started to notice some potentially serious issues with my vehicle (it's an old van). It seemed as though I had lost a lot of power and the transmission was having trouble shifting gears. If you know anything about cars then you will understand why I began to seriously freak out.

I made it through work fine, but on the way home I really paid attention to the car, and, sure enough, I had been right about it having trouble shifting. It freaked me out enough that when I got home I emailed my boss and asked to switch my day off so I could take my car into the shop and have it looked at (of course she said that was fine).

So, all day Thursday I felt (and probably looked) like I had ADHD...I couldn't sit still, when I got on my computer I went from one program to another to another to another to the first to the third to the first to the second; at about that speed. I had taken the van to the local mechanic and he had initially agreed with me that it sounded like a transmission problem..."but let's not worry until there's something to worry about." Great advice...too bad it turns out there's something to worry about.

When I called him at 12:30 (because I couldn't stand waiting any more -- believe me, it was torture to wait that long) he said he couldn't find anything wrong with it...ehm, what? I told him the problem really shows up between 40 and 55 mph. So he said he'd take it back out and get it up to speed and see what he could see...

Two hours later, fit to be tied, I put on my coat, left the house and walked to the shop...the van wasn't there, so I knew he was out driving it around. I walked around the block, and when I got to where I could see the shop, I saw that the van was back. I walked back up there, and as soon as he saw me he said, "there she is," in a manner that filled me with dread...(this is my only transport and it is vitally necessary for me to do either of my jobs!)...we walked out and he told me that once he got it up to highway speed he could finally understand what I had been telling him...I was right -- it's a transmission problem. ...

So that was my Thursday...or was it?

Actually, the torment began bright and early Thursday morning when I did my papers...it seems as if at least once/winter we get this crazy, psychotic weather that produces some of the worst paper-delivery conditions possible. This year has been no different. We've had roller coaster temps that produce sheet ice. Both of my routes are on the side of a mountain and people tend to not bother with snow and ice removal. I was a little surprised I managed to live through that morning. What with my van rolling down hills and such...

Yeah, so, Thursday...it was probably a good thing I didn't go into work that day.

But it's not like the next three days have been much better...Friday was another horrible delivery day (not as bad as Thursday, but bad enough), and the drive to work was a misery. Had I not spent the day yacking with my co-worker I'm pretty sure I would have wound up curled into the fetal position crying.

Saturday, papers were better...but it rained and then snowed all day. Pshaw! There's no problem with rain turning to snow! I took back roads to and from work so I wasn't quite so freaked out about the worsening transmission...(did I mention it's already getting worse?!)

And then there was this morning...thanks to the bipolar weather, papers this morning were crap. But it gets better! See, my boots disintegrated yesterday...y'know, the boots I wear to do the papers? I didn't realize just how bad they were until I got home, but I couldn't help but be a wee bit ticked off when I stepped on the grass and suddenly my left foot was soaked to the ankle...

So I had to find some new boots. I have a pair of combat boots that I haven't worn for ages because I'd never properly broken them in. Now I'm breaking them in the hard way. Figures.

I'd make some stupid comment like, "it can't get any worse," but I've said stupid things like that before and always been proven wrong. Yes, it can get worse. But can it please, oh please get better?

While delivering the papers on Friday morning I came up with my own version of "If You're Happy And You Know it." I'll end today with my new version, as it pretty well sums up my last week and a half...

If you're stressed out and you know it, drool a bit.
If you're stressed out and you know it, drool a bit!
If you're stressed out and you know it catatonia will show it,
If you're stressed out and you know it, drool a bit.

If you're stressed out and you know it, rock a bit.
If you're stressed out and you know it, rock a bit!
If you're stressed out and you know it rocking back and forth will show it,
If you're stressed out and you know it, rock a bit.

If you're stressed out and you know it, chew your nails.
If you're stressed out and you know it, chew your nails!
If you're stressed out and you know it chewing to the quick will show it,
If you're stressed out and you know it, chew your nails!

This week has already felt long and it's half over! But some things have happened already this week that have helped to make it long.

Obviously, the first couple of days you've already read about (if not, what have you been doing, if not reading my blog?!), but then there was Pee Your Pants At Work Day, yesterday. What? You didn't know it was Pee Your Pants At Work Day yesterday and you missed out??! Oh, what a shame! You missed out on the joy of spending the day with wet pants...okay, you're right, it wasn't fun, and for the record it wasn't intentional, either.

What happened is that our cleaning lady was mopping the floor (during business hours...why anyone would think that's a good idea, I don't know -- the company is just lucky it was me, and not some law-suit-happy customer who fell on the wet floor) and I had to use the toilet. I made it into the restroom and, not realizing she has also mopped that floor (there were no signs up and the door was shut) I slipped and fell...and peed my pants. Yes, that's right, I peed my pants at work...needless to say, I was quite pissed off (no pun intended).

But my experience has taught me a few valuable lessons:

1. The toilet is not my enemy. Had I not been holding it because I hate going to the bathroom, I probably would have avoided the unintended voiding. I've never liked going to the bathroom; it seems like such a total waste of time...isn't there some other way to expel metabolic waste products?

2. If you see someone mopping the floor, don't assume (see, it happens to me, and when it does...) that just because the cleaning lady has never bothered to clean the restrooms before, she won't suddenly decide this day will be the one! Proceed with caution...

AND

3. Take a change of clothes. That way, if you're dumb enough to ignore points 1 and 2 on the list, you won't have to spend the rest of your work day in peed pants...

After my unfortunate experience (yes, yes, it's hilarious now that it's no longer happening to me) there was one bright spot...when I got home from work I found Scavenger Hunt in my mailbox! Woohoo! If you have never seen this movie then you are missing out! Along with such greats as Clue: The Movie, and Murder By Death, Scavenger Hunt is just good fun. If you have seen it, and are looking for a copy on DVD, you can find it here for a good price.

A recent Facebook argument has got me in a bit of a lather. In my extreme boredom over the weekend I watched the beginning of a program about how to avoid shark attacks (seems pretty obvious to me really, but there are those who don't seem to understand the correlation between being in the ocean and being bit by alpha predators). One story was of a woman who, at seven months pregnant, made the conscious decision to life guard on a beach in waters that she knew had a heightened threat of shark attack on that particular day. But, by her own admission, as well as the admission of her husband (the baby's father), she chose to go that day because she was going to do whatever she wanted to.

That's irresponsible, and I said so. Someone had suggested (before I added the information about it being her choice) that maybe she couldn't afford not to. I told him that there is always a choice. I was then informed that there are, apparently, circumstances that are beyond choice...

That is wrong. There is always a choice. Your options may suck, but you always have a choice. As I told this guy, even if someone holds a gun to your head and tells you to, "do this," (where "this" is something unpleasant) or they will kill you, you still have a choice! Sure, your options are horrible, but you still have them. Whatever happens once you've made your choice is not a choice, it's the consequence of your choice.

Don't confuse choice with consequence, because they are different. You will always have a choice, what you must deal with after that choice is the consequence.

Perhaps you think that someone wrapping their car around a pole is an unavoidable choice. It is not. It is simply the consequence of a choice that person made earlier.

Everything we do is by choice. Remember that Rush song, Freewill? "[Even] if you choose not to decide, you still have made a choice." The only time we no longer have a choice is when we, ourselves, have taken that away. Everything in life is a choice, we must simply decide which consequences we can live with.

Yeah, so it's been a while since my last post...a lot has been going on and, even though I've thought about posting something, when I get to the computer I just lose all motivation to do it. So I'm really dragging this one out of myself.

This last month and a half has been a real roller coaster for me...and not the fun kind. I got a second job; that hasn't turned out to be the stress-reliever I had hoped. I got a new cell phone; and found out the only places I want to text don't get unlimited texting from any cell company. I now get a day off from the paper; but still have to go to another job so still don't get a proper day off. I know, I know, you have to take the lumps with the laughs, and all-in-all these aren't things that will kill me (although, that which does not kill us makes us angry and weak).

But by now, if you've been keeping up with this blog (or you happen to actually know me), then you know that there are a plethora of things that make me angry and weak. I'd like to share two of those things with you today: assuming and not doing research (do I sound like a broken record yet?).

I've come up with a list of things that have irritated me this month (and we're only halfway through it...joy) and a bit of advice for those involved.

1. Don't make assumptions about the nature of a relationship based solely on one observed interaction from years ago. If you don't know what's been going on in the intervening years, then you are not qualified to make judgments.

2. Just because you think something is worthless, doesn't mean it actually is; selling a $200 tray for $20 makes you look stupid...or maybe you're just malicious, I haven't quite decided which yet.

3. Don't assume you know all the details based on one vague Facebook post; ask questions before making a silly comment that turns out to have absolutely no basis in fact.

4. The vast majority of Facebook "share this" posts are hoaxes. Don't be a blind follower; there is a handy little website called Snopes that checks on stuff like this. Do yourself and the Facebooking world a favor and check before reposting.

Each one of these incidents could have been avoided by simply doing research. An old maxim, from who-knows-where (but often attributed to Mark Twain), fits perfectly here: It is better to be thought a fool, than to open your mouth and remove all doubt. Before you speak, sell, type, or repost, do some research. That way, when the fool is exposed, it won't be you.

It has been the best of years and the worst of years. I got a second job that, so far, has exceeded all my wildest dreams, but I'm still chuckin' the local newsrag. I got a Christmas bonus after working for the company for only a week, but I broke a salable item the same day....

As I've mentioned before, delivering papers isn't the funnest job, and it sucks when your efforts go completely unrewarded, but every now and then, someone will thank you and it makes it...maybe not better, but certainly less sucky.

This year has been better than the last couple, with more people showing their appreciation. I've actually made half as much in tips as I normally do delivering for a whole month! It's been nice to have a bit of cash on hand when I get off work, so I can stop at Subway and not have to figure out what I'm going to make for dinner. But I don't always get money when I get "tipped." In fact, this year I have had three subscribers who have given something other than money (well, one of them gave money as well as a gift item), and it's been kind of interesting to see what they give when they do.

The first non-cash "tip" came in the form of a bucket. As I approached the porch to leave the paper I noticed said bucket sitting on the edge of the top step. Being the gift-giving time of year I did look a little closer at it and, sure enough, it indicated it was for the paper carrier...but I didn't take it. Why? Because it was addressed to "our special paper boy." Oh dear...I'm not a boy. So, how do I know they don't take another paper that is delivered by a boy and the bucket was for him? So I left it there. Later that day I found a voicemail message from the paper saying that the bucket was for me and it would be left out again the next day (there was also some mention of: perhaps I didn't know it was for me). So the next morning I approached the porch and it wasn't there. I merely smirked. The day after that, it was back, with the following amendment: "...to our special paper person."

The second non-cash "tip" came in the form of a woman at my front door bearing a large, but squishy gift. I wasn't sure why she gave me that bemused look when she found out I am her paper carrier...but it all became crystal clear when I opened the present (my participation in Christmas is a bit more passive this year...no decorations and I open presents as I get them because there's no point waiting when I don't have a tree to put them under). It turned out to be a blanket with hearts and frogs...you know, the kind you'd buy your 5-year-old. Not sure how old she thought I was, but she knows I'm not that young now (I have been told I don't look my age -- which is 35 --but sheesh, I don't look that young!).


The third non-cash "tip" came to me today while I was hoping for at least another $10 so I could buy some yarn to make a blanket for a friend. And it was that sweet little lady who thanked me so graciously before! What a dear sweet lady she is, and she certainly is a joy to serve! But when she caught me this morning (nearly scared the life out of me as I was walking back to the van) she thanked me profusely again (those are the people I enjoy delivering the paper to and the ones who will get extra special service--like the couple who tip me every month; sure they have a box, but if it's snowing I'll bag it anyway) and gave me the cutest little kitchen angel; and it's handmade, too! (She also gave me a card with, not a 10, but a 20!)


But enough effusive gratitude to the little lady who thanks me with such sincerity, the point of this ramble is that there are people who, for some strange reason, still assume that paper carriers are all 12-year-old boys. This actually makes no sense to me because I personally know of four, yes, that's right, four, other paper carriers who are adults! And in California, it's illegal for children to deliver papers! The one that really kills me is the bucket people...they had actually seen me before they put that out! At least the blanket lady had the excuse that she'd never seen me before. But really, none of this should have gone the way it did for the simple reason that you can no longer assume that things are the way they were 5, 10, or 20 years ago. Don't assume that your paper carrier is a kid or a boy, but do tip them, because delivering papers is not as easy as so many people seem to think it is.

An incident on Facebook has prompted me to speak out (or blog out...whatever).

There is a time and a place for humor and it takes a certain level of maturity to determine when it's appropriate. A recent news story about a teacher sexting one of her students has got a few people laughing, because, apparently, teachers abusing their position is funny.

I fail to see how this is even remotely amusing.

For years there has been this crazy double-standard where teacher-student relationships have been concerned; Van Halen even released a song about it in the 80's; but I fail to see why society seems to deem it acceptable for a female teacher to carry on a relationship with a male student but there is outrage when a male teacher has the same type of relationship with a female student. Both situations are illegal and immoral. Teachers (whether male or female) are in a position of trust and authority; both considered aggravating factors during sentencing, btw; and to use that position in order to facilitate an illegal and/or immoral action is disgusting. And to laugh about it is dangerous.

With regards to this, one individual suggested that "that's society," as if, because society laughs it off then it's somehow appropriate to do so. And that's the crux of the problem, right there. If society is suggesting that this behavior is laughable, then why is it criminal? And if it's criminal, then it shouldn't be laughable.

Someone else suggested that laughter helps to ease the situation and laughter helped ease the pain of the death of a loved one. Laughing about a serious abuse of position (that involves child sexual abuse -- which, let's be honest, is what a teacher sexting a student is) is inappropriate. Laughing at the death of a loved one would also be inappropriate. But laughing about the good times you had with that loved one would be perfectly acceptable.

If this attitude "is society," then it's time for society to get a clue. Grow up people, because children learn their behaviors from adults.

I visit a lot of websites that aren't in English. As a result, I need a good translator so I can figure out what the site says. Up until today I had one...

My translator is a Windows desktop gadget, using Google Translate, and it's served me quite well. But a few days ago there was a message on it from the creator, Photo-Bon.com, stating that Google has changed their translation policy and will now be charging for the service. This means that the translator will no longer work as the creator cannot afford to buy access to Google Translate...this presents some problems for me.

I have been trying to find a new desktop translator that is as good (and simple) as this one, and after an exhaustive search, I have come to the conclusion that there is nothing comparable; the app doesn't work once it's downloaded, it no longer exists, or it's large and not user friendly.

I did manage to find two programs that are (allegedly) desktop translators, but, unlike my little Photo-Bon translator, they don't sit on my desktop. They are also 4 times as big and one of them (Translate.Net) is just terrible. Sure it translates, but the quality is poor and the interface is not user friendly.


The only answer I have found is using Google Translator (how ironic that Google Translator is still free, but they are charging third party sources for the use of their resources...). Of the two I've found that actually work (Google and Translate.Net), it is unfortunately my new nemesis, Google, who have the better option. The fact that I have to use their translate tool, which is not as simple and accessible as my Photo-Bon translator, makes me angry. But I am resigned...I need a translator tool and it appears that Google is my only option. I hate that.

So, it looks like Spotify has some competition from a streaming audio source called MOG. If you've been paying attention, then you know I detest Spotify and everything it stands for. Well, having just found an article on The Guardian UK that tells me MOG may be even worse at paying artists, I am not pleased by this new development. It seems that once again some freeloading yuppie (that's not the contradiction you might think) has decided to take advantage of other people's intellectual property and is now offering it up as a free meal to unscrupulous "fans" who want everything for free.

There's a "Have Your Say" article over at The Local Sweden today that has prompted this post. The question is basically, how do you view Sweden and the USA.

I don't like the "compare/contrast" aspect of this question because it supposes that it's possible to determine that one is, in fact, better than the other; which it's not. There is no "better or worse," there is only difference. A lot of the comments I see on The Local's articles leave me wondering why the average person bothers to read them. Sure, I have been known to offer up my 2 cents worth on certain stories, but nothing like some of the people who frequent this site -- some of their comments are downright vicious.

(Here's some free advice for people who live in Sweden but hate it there (they seem to be foreigners...): since you hate Sweden so vehemently, then why don't you spare yourself any further pain and suffering and leave. I'm pretty sure the Swedish people would thank you.)

I did respond to this open invitation to "have my say," and I thought I'd share it with you all. (Obviously, if you'd like to view the other comments then feel free to follow the link above)

Recently, I found an old article about an Italian beach town whose mayor is trying to make his town a better place to live by banning "revealing" clothing. I posted the link on Facebook and an interesting discussion ensued.

The discussion was prompted by a line in the article stating that a consumer group was arguing that banning "revealing" clothing "is a step backwards for feminism." I said that I can't understand what is so "feminist" about wearing skanky clothing and asked how it would be good for feminism. One of my friends responded with, "[i]ts not good for "feminism" its is just a form of idiot rationalization that you get to dress like a whore and somehow that makes you more liberated and powerful (sic)."

It's amazing that there are women who actually think they're getting ahead by falling behind; becoming less of an object by becoming more of an object. And that's what you are, when you show off what you've got, because men, in general, are very visual creatures. So, if you think you're getting one over on them by showing off your cleavage then you are sorely mistaken.

Perhaps you think you're "winning" because you think that by showing your assets you are somehow in control. Well, whores are not in control because the man doesn't have to buy sex from them, he chooses to do it. Sure, he may have a little impulse control problem that facilitates the transaction, but ultimately he's the one who makes the decision. The Heidi Fleiss's of the world think they're in control because they have something that men want, but, again, the men are the ones who make the final choice. And if men ever got a clue, then you'd be out of a job. And there are a few smart men out there who've figured out that slutting around isn't such a good idea. What if they started to convince other men of that, eh?

According to the dictionary, "feminism" is the theory of the political, economic, and social equality of the sexes. When you use your body to achieve these goals (e.g. by wearing revealing clothing) you are not, in effect achieving those goals because you are still trapping yourself in the objectification of bygone ages. True equality would not require the degradation (yes, that's what it is; let's call an orange an orange, okay) of one of the sexes in order to advance it.

Do yourself, and everyone else, a favor and cover up. If you want true equality then it must be achieved through the right channels.

So, one of my Facebook friends posted a link to a Washington Post article about Michele Bachman's manicure and whether it's tasteful, tacky, or totally off-limits...

Are you effing serious? Is that really what's important these days? With everything that's going on (read: wrong) in this country we're seriously going to focus on Michele Bachman's fake nails? I can't believe this is even an issue. If people vote against her because of her acrylic nails then we are definitely up shit crick with no t.p.

The idea that people would focus on something so incredibly trivial is mind boggling (and it isn't just the Washington Post, if you read the article you will see that the attention is across a broad spectrum of media). As if we don't have enough to worry about, people are now bringing up a completely inconsequential factor. The presidency is not about fashion, it's about governing this country and we shouldn't be focusing on a person's look(s) when considering whether they have what it takes to drag this country out of the hellish abyss it's currently in.

Would you really rather have a president that simply looks good? Or would you prefer one that can actually lead? Personally, I prefer the latter. But if you're so ridiculously shallow that you would actually, genuinely, prefer the former then you deserve whatever terror your future, hot president can dish out.

Stop worrying about Bachman's manicure and start paying attention to what really matters.

...Or not.

There's been a lot of drama in the Metal community lately thanks to a University of Melbourne study that apparently links Metal with depression...y'know, like it hasn't been linked before. But it's caused enough of a stir with at least one musician, Jason Foley, that he wrote a statement about it, to which the study's author, Dr. McFerran, responded, and he then rebutted.

To be honest, I was trying to avoid this topic, but some comments attached to the rebuttal have compelled me to speak out.

I haven't read the entire study, in fact, I've only skimmed the introduction and discussion (which are essentially the most important portions of any report), but what little I've read has already had an effect. The study indicates that teens choose music based on their mood, and that their mood can be changed by the music they listen to. This isn't news, folks, I've known for years (and I'm sure loads of other music-listeners have too) that I tend to choose music that reflects my mood and my mood can change based on what I am listening to.

The danger with this study, and all the research that McFerran refers to, is the fact that it was done by the academic establishment. Why do I think that's a problem? Because, unfortunately, academia is myopic and tunnel-visioned; I've addressed this problem before.  For some strange reason, academics limit themselves and generally wind up missing the point entirely, which results in reports such as this (which the media, and U of Melbourne then completely misrepresented and blew out of proportion).

In the case of this particular report, the inference is that the music is what causes the initial problem, when it's clear, from her own report, that the music is used to alleviate a problem that already exists. If you read the discussion at the end of the report you will see how she is forcing the data to conform to her ideas ("...some strong emotional experiences may result in an initial deterioration of mood, but ultimately result in an improvement...However this is an unlikely explanation in the context of this study since participants were reflecting on experiences in the past four weeks. It could be assumed that any delayed positive effect would have been enacted by this time, thus altering how they answered the question." [emphasis added]).

You know what they say about assuming...

In the immortal words of whoever said it first, "There are 3 kinds of lies: lies, damn lies, and statistics," and any report can say whatever the author or academic establishment wants it to based on how they manipulate the wording and the stats. What everyone needs to take away from this is the fact that all people react differently to different music and you cannot possibly make inferences across a population because there are simply too many confounding factors. Ergo, this "research" is useless.

I believe that we gravitate toward music that speaks to us, and we will make our own choices based on our life experiences. People like to vilify Metal and point to the few instances when Metal fans have either killed others, or themselves, as proof that Metal is harmful. Yet nobody bothers to comment on music when a rap fan does a drive-by, or a pop fan bullies a fellow student into committing suicide. I have long believed that what we don't understand we fear, and what we fear we try to destroy. Those who would try to destroy Metal are they who do not understand it. To those people who believe that Metal causes people to kill others, I would point to the thousands of Metal fans who have never killed anyone. And to those people who would like to believe that Metal causes depression, I would say, talk to someone for whom Metal has been a life-saver and helped them cope through stressful and depressing times (like me).

If we are going to bring music into the equation when a Metal fan commits a crime or suicide, then we need to bring it into the equation for every crime or suicide. Music is not the enemy, narrow-mindedness is.

Unless you've been living under a rock, then you know that Steve Jobs lost his battle with cancer yesterday. If you don't know who Steve Jobs is then you need to get out more, but since you can find loads of info about him all over the internet I'm not going to give you a bio. In fact, this post is not about Steve Jobs, except as he provides a perfect example of what I am going to blog about.

And what I'm going to blog about are the people over at Find A Grave who are gunning for prestige through dead people (I've ranted about this type of thing before, if you haven't read it, you can find it here).

Some time ago, I noticed that seconds after the newspaper came out each day, the people whose obituaries were in the paper for the first time were already in FAG...and since the memorial creator for each one is the same person I know it can't possibly be that some family member has posted the memorial (seriously, unless you live in a dinky community where everyone is related to everyone else then one person is not going to be related to 5-10 different people listed in the newspaper). I then started to notice that as soon as some "famous" person showed up dead in the news they were immediately put up on FAG...and I mean, immediately!

Steve Jobs is no exception. After reading that he had passed away I checked FAG to see how many people had created memorials for him -- there were three (for the record, FAG got right on that and now there is only one).

So what's my point here? I have created over 1,000 memorials in just over 1 year (if I would get my act together it would be even higher) and I have created memorials for several people that are known. I have not created any memorials for "famous" people, however, and do you know how I know that I haven't created any memorials for "famous" people? I know because I had to create the memorials for them. Trust me, if any of these people were "famous" then I never would have gotten the chance to create their memorials because there would have already  been one thanks to the Obit Trolls.

An Obit Troll is a person who creates memorials for everyone in the paper (or online obituary sites) before anyone else has an opportunity to do so. Obit trolling is super tacky. It's super tacky for three reasons:

1) It means you are trying to be "First," which is always tacky, regardless of the forum.
2) It means you are trying to get on the Top Contributors list or want your name associated with someone "famous" because you're a greedy bastard who needs validation/recognition.
3) It means that family or friends of the deceased cannot create the memorials themselves and must then request to have them transferred (which can be a colossal pain in the ass when an Obit Troll manages loads of memorials).

Obit Tolls are not cool, helpful people, they are annoying glory hounds.

And so are the Photo Request Trolls who claim every photo request in their area and then let them lapse. There is absolutely no reason for this. You are given up to two weeks to fulfill a photo request but it should never take you that long! If you don't know that you are going to be able to fulfill that request within the first three days (first week maximum) then don't claim it; especially if you live in this state. There are loads of other people around here who would happily fulfill that request that you are just sitting on. If you do claim it and then something comes up and you are not able to fulfill it (within the first three days-week) then unclaim it! Let someone else have it so the people who are waiting on the photos don't have to wait on you! You don't have to volunteer if you are a member of FAG, but if you choose to volunteer then actually do it.

FAG trolls are not in it for anyone but themselves. If, after reading this, you discover that you are a troll, make a change! Do it for the people you are creating memorials for, both living and dead, not for yourself.

WARNING: Some of the content in this post may be offensive to some people. Viewer discretion is advised!

If you know me or you've been reading my blog for any length of time then you know that I love horror movies, and Halloween is my favorite holiday. I've been trying to figure out a non-cheesy way of introducing a certain website I found some time ago, but the time just never seemed right. Well, after today I've come up with the perfect way to introduce it.

I was surfing the Cake Wrecks website, and found some of the more...gruesome examples of humanity's lack of decorum and it seemed the perfect opportunity to show you this:

Yes, that's right, it's the Thorax Cake. Created by a couple of sisters, you can find the whole workup here. For some reason, this doesn't gross me out. I mean, at first it did, but over the years I've become less grossed out by it to the point that I'd love to take a bite (the whole thing is edible), or, better yet, I'd love to make my own. So you might be wondering what it was over at Cake Wrecks that was so bad that it's got me annoyed enough to blog about it...Well, this! And that's part of it below.

BELOW: Baby Shower cake...level-of-taste issue, much?!

I should point out that it's not just the baby that is cake, but that "placenta" back there, too. This is one of those, "what were you thinking?!" situations. Seriously, what were they thinking? Yes, it's a phenomenal piece of work, but it's a cake! That implies that it's supposed to be eaten. You gonna eat that?

Yes, I love horror movies (well made horror movies, not stupid slasher flicks whose sole purpose for existence is to see how much blood and guts they can throw around... really, a slasher flick is the porn flick of the horror movie genre -- like a porno it has zero plot and loads of unnecessary screaming and buckets of bodily fluids. Slasher movies (and Cannibal Corpse) are no more viable "entertainment" than porn movies, and they never will be -- no, porn is not viable entertainment. 'S'truth, get over it and move on), but even in horror movies there's a certain level of decorum that should be adhered to, and these Baby Shower cakes just don't hold to that.

But it's not just the creator of said tasteless (that's not a pun) cakes that is at fault here, it's the people who wanted the cake in the first place! If you've ever watched Ace of Cakes then you know that there are some people with strange ideas about what constitutes an appropriate cake for any occasion. The thing is, I have yet to see any cakes on there that are as inappropriate as the one shown above. Seriously, this one takes first prize (okay, the "fetus cake" is a tie).

Maybe you think I'm being oversensitive about this, that it's just all in good fun. Good fun? I roll my eyes at you. I don't think it's oversensitive to ask that people actually think before they do things. But if you're not actually going to eat the baby, then I don't have a problem with it. Of course, if you're not going to eat the baby, then why make it out of cake?